Heck, it sure is nice to be missed when a guy vaporizes for a bit, thanks for the concern.
I have been having to deal with some of the side effects of the dratted lyme recently, but with the help of a few good doctors and a very cranky nurse I believe that I am on my way forward once again. You would be surprised at the reaction that a guy can get when an ancient nurse who was born back in the 1800 insists on taking off your boots for ya and discovers a half a cord of oak chips in your boots. And contrary to what that nurse says, I was wearing my town clothes.
While on the mend, I have done some serious soul searching, some self analysis, and to some degree a little self honesty. After a recent visit with a member here, I wondered if I have been totally honest with everyone here as to who I am, who I want to be, and how I want everyone to perceive me. To dissipate any misconceptions of who I am, then here it is.My life story of who I am, and the events that have shaped my life.
I am not a scrawny thin built tree guy.I dont believe in finesse. If I cant muscle it to the ground, heave it in the truck, or convince it that one way or another its going with me, I aint interested. I stand 6foot 1 inch, and top the scales at 260 at my current weight. I have always weighed most of my life in the 240 range, but recent illness has left me a bit more time to lay around and pound on a keyboard rather than the heavy work needed to keep my weight in check.
I don't own a suit, slacks, or anything nice like a dress shirt. If you invite me to your wedding, plan on me tugging on my collar in irritation and muttering under my breath about the clown that fitted this dang suit at the rental place. I come equipped for just about any get together with a pair of levis, a t shirt that looks like maybe it was new back during the Nevada Gold Rush and the same dang boots I pull on every single morning. On Sunday morning they get a polish before heading off to church. I own one nice polo shirt that gets taken out for Sunday, and its always the same shirt. Makes it easy to spot me in a crowd, I have never been confused for the pastor.
I cuss. Lots. Especially when some Jap decides to see how much motor he can cram in an opening the size of a beer can. If I bark my shin, bust a knuckle, or lose a $30 wrench down the radiator cowl, small children, women, pastors, and every dog within 300 yards might want to burn some serious Nike rubber until I get over it.
Dont invite me over for dinner and expect me to sit around in the living afterwards telling stories. It doesnt work that way for me. Every single story I have ever told comes from conversation that sparked a memory from my past. As natural conversation goes along, something is said that will spark something in my mind, and I will find myself drifting back over time. If you are a glutton for punishment, ask me what I am thinking about, and I will be happy to relate the events that made me smile.
Like many of you around here, life has been hard. From the age of ten, I realized that somehow I was very different from the other kids. When I showed up, things happen. I dont know why. I don't cause them to happen, things just work out that way. I have probably spent more time in the ER than any ten of you guys combined, and for that reason my wife not only insures that the health insurance is always paid up, but I am very heavily insured with life insurance. Not that she is greedy, but she has always faced the fact that when I cash in my chips there is surely going to be a few innocent survivors around that will file a lawsuit against my estate to recoup the damages to their barn, house, or anything else I might happen to take with me when I go.
I am very opinionated. If you are an idiot, then chances are one way or another I am probably going to get around to letting you know. On the plus side, I also respect your right to let me know what you think of me and in most cases you are probably going to be right.
I am not some happy go lucky kind of guy. In fact, my wife calls me a curmudgeon. While I look back at events in my life with a great deal of humor and sometimes even with a great deal of fondness, when the events were happening I was not standing around with a great big smile on my face while the world came crashing down around me. Like I said, I cuss. Lots.
With that being said, I enjoy making folks laugh, and I am perfectly willing to make a fool out of myself to entertain a group of folks. But I reckon my humor is a little more twisted than some, for what I think is funny may not appeal to many others. The really sad part is, I often fail to see the humor in many things that have happened in my life, but recognize the fact that folks often enjoy hearing about them. And for that reason, I enjoy story telling.
Well, for now that is my confession. If you are uncomfortable hanging out with a overweight middle aged guy who buys his apparel from the local feed store, has a tendency to make wives nervous, and is also a fine example of the kind of guy you dont want your daughter marrying, then dont invite me over for dinner. I hope this clears up any misconceptions. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I may even answer them if I can manage to clean all this @#$%#$ root bear out of my keyboard.