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avalancher

avalancher

Arboristsite Raconteur
Joined
Dec 7, 2007
Messages
4,316
Location
Newport TN
Did I mention the wood fairies conversation at the dinner table?No?
Well, we were eating dinner, and my daughter asked me if I had seen any wood fairies this time out in the woods.Private joke among my family.

You see, some time ago I was cutting wood with a guy, bashed my hand real good with a big round, and spent the better part of an hour #####ing about it.

Now, I dont take meds too often, and my partner knew this.I finally had enough, and not wanting to appear being a wussy, slipped into the front of the truck and got 3 Tylenols and swallowed them down.

A few minutes later, partner called for a break, and persisted in me having a nice cold Dew to wash down the woodchips with.I should have known something was up.
An half hour later, I was getting a good buzz, found out later he had crushed up 3 Tylenols and put em in my drink.
Sat there on a log,trying to figure out why my head was ringing then the faires showed up.Runnin around, jumping over the trailer and it ticked me off.

Started throwing anything loose I could find,yelling at my partner to get the shotgun from the front of the truck.He had no idea what was going on.He finally managed to calm me down after I put a big dent in the tailgate, and knocked out one of the windows in canopy on the back of the truck.

So,its a common joke from my family to ask if I had seen any fairies when I come home.Needless to say, our company didnt get the joke, so I filled em in on the story.Jessica wanted to know if I make a habit of abusing drugs when cutting wood, I told her only when I am running behind and needing to make up some time.:greenchainsaw:
 
outdoorlivin247

outdoorlivin247

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
Messages
8,948
Location
IL
I enjoy aggravating women like that. I wouldn't have a problem asking her WTF her problem was and then when she started in, promptly telling her to shut her soup cooler. I had a run in like that with one of my wife's friends once. I asked her when her docs were going to have her meds figured out. It went downhill from there.

Ian

Or you would have just asked her if she was naked...LOL
 
danrclem

danrclem

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
3,509
Location
Mt. Washington Ky.
Very good story Avalancher. You have a way with words that make a person feel like they were there. If you can find a magazine that has the outdoors man type stories in it you might try submitting a few.
 
buildmyown

buildmyown

ArboristSite Operative
Joined
Nov 19, 2007
Messages
398
Location
Franklin, Ma
Great post Avalancher and dont want to steal your spot light but reminds me of my city friends. I live in the woods and had them out for a BBQ and bonfire had a whole trailer of junk to burn but they insisted on running around using their cell phones as flashlights to find every little stick they could find. As I sat in my chair drinking a beer enjoying the entertainment for the night.
 
woodbooga

woodbooga

cords of mystic memory
Joined
May 7, 2008
Messages
11,943
Location
Between Gonic and Chocorua
Very good story Avalancher. You have a way with words that make a person feel like they were there. If you can find a magazine that has the outdoors man type stories in it you might try submitting a few.

If we ever held a vote for official firewooding troubadour of AS, he's earned my ballot.

Actually, avalancher's more of a raconteur, but that's splittin' hairs :)
 
deeker

deeker

Tree Freak
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
11,083
Location
Central, UT
Fansastic story!!!!

One huge facutal error on your part. Orange and white are okay, but they are only one step above green.Wrong!!!!

Orange and white rule!!!

Aside from that, great story!!!!
 
Circle B MN
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
3,029
Location
Princeton MN
Avalancher...I do think we could be kin (I'm actually from western Va). Your description of the wood truck is dead on. The passenger seat of mine has so much dog hair on it that you can't vacuum, brush, or peel it off. My truck also has "that smell", and a week old bologana sandwich really gives it a zing. Here's the test....How many loose shotgun shells do you have rolling around in the cab of your truck..? If you answer more than a dozen we are kin fo sho'...:clap::givebeer:
 
danrclem

danrclem

Addicted to ArboristSite
Joined
Mar 26, 2006
Messages
3,509
Location
Mt. Washington Ky.
If we ever held a vote for official firewooding troubadour of AS, he's earned my ballot.

Actually, avalancher's more of a raconteur, but that's splittin' hairs :)

I like readin' your posts too 'cause you usually have some humor in them. Only thing is you use a lot of them hundred dollar words and then I gotta go look 'em up and see what they mean. You know like raconteur. That's hard on an old two dollar country boy. :)
 
Steve NW WI

Steve NW WI

Unwanted Riff Raff.
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
7,880
Location
Wisconsin
How many loose shotgun shells do you have rolling around in the cab of your truck..? If you answer more than a dozen we are kin fo sho'...:clap::givebeer:

Heck I have at least that many in the back seat of the wannabe city slicker go-to-work car. Truck is much more likely to have a half dozen partial boxes of various calibers of rifle ammo.

I do think the average city boy has an inner redneck just waitin to get out. Most all that have visited me gravitated to trucks, guns, tractors, saws, and anything else loud, smelly and hazardous that they don't get to play with...

Just noticed - got 2 12ga #6 high brass sittin right here on the computer desk, think it helps keep the electronic gizmos in line!

Great story Avalancher, you are a fine storyteller, even if your chainsaw judgement is a bit cloudy!
 
STEVEGODSEYJR

STEVEGODSEYJR

ArboristSite Guru
Joined
Jun 19, 2008
Messages
886
Location
Connersville, IN
Redneck !!!!

After reading this entire thread it kinda reminded me of a past experience. I was coming home from work one day in the old smelly work car(escort wagon) and had to pickup some straw for the kids animals since it was getting cold. I stopped at a local farm and bought four bales of straw from the lady. I paid her the ten bucks and she asks when will I be back with the truck to get them? I replied I am taking them with me now!!! I opened up the hatch on the wagon and jammed all four bales inside and shut the hatch. She just stood there shaking her head and said that was the biggest "redneck" thing that she had ever seen. I just said thank you and have a pleasent evening. I think she was also shocked to see someone my size driving an escort. :jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop: I am 6'4" and 265 lbs. I also used that car for bringing home skids from work and picking up "free wood" that people were giving away. I wasn't tryin to hijack Avalancher but he reminds me of myself. :cheers: Steve
 
deeker

deeker

Tree Freak
Joined
Mar 18, 2008
Messages
11,083
Location
Central, UT
Avalancher...I do think we could be kin (I'm actually from western Va). Your description of the wood truck is dead on. The passenger seat of mine has so much dog hair on it that you can't vacuum, brush, or peel it off. My truck also has "that smell", and a week old bologana sandwich really gives it a zing. Here's the test....How many loose shotgun shells do you have rolling around in the cab of your truck..? If you answer more than a dozen we are kin fo sho'...:clap::givebeer:


Stay out of my truck. :cheers::cheers:
 
glennschumann

glennschumann

ArboristSite Operative
Joined
Dec 6, 2007
Messages
318
Location
Milwaukee, WI
Funniest thing I heard or read today. I really needed the laugh. Thanks!

By the way... what happened to the Husky 55? At one bill for the chipper, the 55 shouldn't have cost more than a six pack...
 
Fronty Owner

Fronty Owner

ArboristSite Operative
Joined
Jun 28, 2009
Messages
465
Location
Oklahoma
After reading this entire thread it kinda reminded me of a past experience. I was coming home from work one day in the old smelly work car(escort wagon) and had to pickup some straw for the kids animals since it was getting cold. I stopped at a local farm and bought four bales of straw from the lady. I paid her the ten bucks and she asks when will I be back with the truck to get them? I replied I am taking them with me now!!! I opened up the hatch on the wagon and jammed all four bales inside and shut the hatch. She just stood there shaking her head and said that was the biggest "redneck" thing that she had ever seen. I just said thank you and have a pleasent evening. I think she was also shocked to see someone my size driving an escort. :jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop: I am 6'4" and 265 lbs. I also used that car for bringing home skids from work and picking up "free wood" that people were giving away. I wasn't tryin to hijack Avalancher but he reminds me of myself. :cheers: Steve

I was working with a guy in Norway, the back of his VW wagon had hay all over it. If hay in a wagon defines redneck, they are everywhere...
 

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