Mid-Life Crisis Thread......

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Haywire Haywood said:
1. Are you diseased?
2. Are you garnished? (child support)
3. Are you damaged/dead? (jealous husband/BF)

If your answers are no/no/no then you don't need a smiley. :)

Ian
Click to expand...

I guess I don't need a smiley then.

There was that time in England though.......hope there aren't any little PlantBio's running across Europe.


:)
 
spike60 said:
...the "Babe Acceptability/Accessability Curve"

So, we just have another beer and look at all of the class A stuff that we can't get while passing up the class B stuff that we think is beneath us. But then after enough time goes by, you realize that the kind of "opportunities" you passed up 10 years ago are out of reach today. How many of those opportunities that you blew off years ago would you love to have a shot at today?

Gentlemen, the solution is simple. All you need to do is reel in the ego and lower the standards so the graph balances out. Now, I don't mean abandon the standards altogether, just drop them down a bit.

Say anything that walks and has breasts, but doesn't weigh more than you is fair game? Well OK, maybe not THAT low, but you get the picture. Instead of asking "Who's going to find out?", why not ask, "Who cares?"
Click to expand...

Research has confirmed that beer goggles is a quantifiable phenomenon. There was a major study that confirmed what we've all known for years.

I'm married, so I'm out of the hunt. Back in the day, I kept 2 Latin phrases in mind when trolling for chicks:

Carpe Diem...

Caveat Emptor.

P.S., I'm sure that the female members must be getting a real kick out of this thread. Some will use it as a tool to help them understand what their guy is going through. Others will reckon it just confirms what they've been thinking all along.:cry:
 
Just dont do this.............................
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spike60 said:
Gentlemen, the solution is simple. All you need to do is reel in the ego and lower the standards so the graph balances out. Now, I don't mean abandon the standards altogether, just drop them down a bit.

Say anything that walks and has breasts, but doesn't weigh more than you is fair game? Well OK, maybe not THAT low, but you get the picture. Instead of asking "Who's going to find out?", why not ask, "Who cares?"
Click to expand...

I can't help but think of this letter from one of our founding fathers while reading the direction that this thread is going. I know it is long, but I find the truth and humor of it

June 25, 1745

My dear Friend,

I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you. Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man, and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid Happiness. You Reasons against entering into it at present, appear to me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by postponing it, are not only uncertain, by they are small in comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the complete human Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason; he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd half of a Pair of Scissors. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Oeconomy, will be a Fortune sufficient.

But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:

1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.

2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, the study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Dimunition of Beauty by the Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.

PlantBiologist said:
I guess I don't need a smiley then.
There was that time in England though.......hope there aren't any little PlantBio's running across Europe.
:)
Click to expand...
(This reminded me of the letter.):biggrinbounce2:
3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc'd may be attended with much Inconvenience.

4. Because thro' more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting and Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin'd to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.

5. Because in every animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: the Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an Old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.

6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching of a Virgin may be her Ruin, and make her for Life unhappy.

7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can attend the making an old Woman happy.

8. They are so grateful!!

Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend,

Benjamin Franklin.
 
Last edited:
Chevy:

Who was the letter written to? Who was the audience and what was his motivation?

+1 Plant Bio re: Old Pappa's wh0rin'. He certainly, ahem, immersed himself in the local culture while serving as an envoy to France.

Turn the calendar back 100 years prior. A perusal of the court records of Mass Bay from the mid-1600s would turn up the occasional case of a man in his 30s or 40s who was brought to trial for bachelorhood. Seriously. You had to marry. Partially for reproductive reasons: the need to produce more right-thinking Puritans who could defend God's kingdom against those "heathous salvages."

In addition, they were really hung up on the whole be@stiality issue. There were an inordinate number of laws on the books adressing this. Maybe out of fear that the colony would be stuck with the motto: Massachusetts Bay--where the men are men and the sheep are scared.

Take away lesson from history: don't feel bad if you've just bought a flashy red sports car. There are graver alternatives.

Yuk.
 

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