What would you do?

[CWME]

So one of my best friends and I are at odds.

Long story short. I helped him build his house and his wife's daycare. That included TWO custom kitchen cabinets sets, 2 custom baths, Hardwood floors, deck(set the footings after digging in 4' of :censored: mud, ran 500' of waterline 7' underground, all electrical needs for the daycare including a 220 stove hookup and 15 outlets and three light zones.. The list goes on and on of the woodworking I have done for them. Blanket chest, crib, etc

While a lot of this was done because he was a friend and his contractor screwed him. BUT he and his wife said that my daughter could go to the daycare for a reduced rate.

They fell on hard times after a year of this agreement and told us last week that we have to pay more for daycare. To the sum of 34% increase.

He just put new brake lines on my truck last week and then told us about the daycare.
That agreement was $400 or I work it off by cutting his firewood.

In light of the whole daycare deal going south what would you do? He refuses to take the $400 and I feel like I have done enough work for him over the last few years with MY tools.

P.S. Both kitchens and baths cabinets were done in my shop with ME paying for heat and wearables on the machines.

I am a lot peeved at this situation. But in the end I don't want to ruin a life long freindship.

 

[lone wolf]

Sounds like it is ruined already!

 

[Muffler Bearing]

So one of my best friends and I are at odds.

Long story short.
I don't want to ruin a life long freindship.

Sounds like you are a good friend. Ever heard the expression..Only the good die young?
Also sounds like your smart enough to just let it roll and go on with life. Good for you.
Rep inbound.

 

[lone wolf]

Tell him to pay you for all your help so you can pay for daycare!!!:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:

 

[Ductape]

I'd have to be IN the situation to advise you on what way to go. I have a couple life long friends, and I wouldn't let a day care price increase end our friendships (under the right circumstances). I have other long time friends, that it would end our friendships. If he is truely a good friend, then you should be able to SEE his hardship. Have they been going without anything? If so...... the hardship is real. If their lifestyle isn't suffering........ move on and make a new friend. If you see that they are struggling, then I say the cabinets, etc. is water over the dam.

 

[Walt41]

Sounds like a raw deal on daycare and brake lines. I would have a long face to face talk with him, maybe a reduced rate might sound good again when faced with the loss of 100%.

 

[rmount]

It is always hard mixing business with friends/family when there is nothing written. Peoples intentions and their recollection of those intentions often vary.

Would you have done the work "because he was a friend and his contractor screwed him" if they hadn't offered the reduced rate on daycare?

If so - accept their changed circumstance and pay the new rate.

If not - explain that you did the work in exchange for a reduced rate and if you must pay the full rate then you will have to bill them for some of the work done.

In either case, if you can afford the new rate and the friendship is worth keeping maybe just eat the cost but be more wary of doing future deals with him.

 

[lone wolf]

So one of my best friends and I are at odds.

Long story short. I helped him build his house and his wife's daycare. That included TWO custom kitchen cabinets sets, 2 custom baths, Hardwood floors, deck(set the footings after digging in 4' of :censored: mud, ran 500' of waterline 7' underground, all electrical needs for the daycare including a 220 stove hookup and 15 outlets and three light zones.. The list goes on and on of the woodworking I have done for them. Blanket chest, crib, etc

While a lot of this was done because he was a friend and his contractor screwed him. BUT he and his wife said that my daughter could go to the daycare for a reduced rate.

They fell on hard times after a year of this agreement and told us last week that we have to pay more for daycare. To the sum of 34% increase.

He just put new brake lines on my truck last week and then told us about the daycare.
That agreement was $400 or I work it off by cutting his firewood.

In light of the whole daycare deal going south what would you do? He refuses to take the $400 and I feel like I have done enough work for him over the last few years with MY tools.

P.S. Both kitchens and baths cabinets were done in my shop with ME paying for heat and wearables on the machines.

I am a lot peeved at this situation. But in the end I don't want to ruin a life long freindship.

Is it coming from his wife maybe and not really him?

 

[CWME]

His only hardship that I can see to date is that he was denied a refinancing loan on his house. He got it into his head that he should be able to refinance with the low rates and cut his mortgage in half, IE 15 years.
They said that his debt to income was too high to go for the 15 year note.

Two weeks later we get hit with the price increase. Assuming everyone at the daycare got the same rate increase they just got a 20k a year raise.

His work cut him off of all after hours cash jobs and add that to a slow economy he is not making anything near what he used to.

If the rate increase was to put food on his table I would give him double but it looks like he wants that loan so bad that nothing else matters.

Our families used to work together to make it through. Our wives buy food in bulk to save $ etc. He fixed one of my cars and I would fix whatever it was that needed fixing around the house.

I guess where I am at is that he refused the $ for the brakes. He didn't say if I should cut his firewood or not. 5+ cords need to be cut and split.
I don't want this on my shoulders that I backed out of the deal. I don't want to loose my daughter's ability to go to the daycare either. In the end it is still cheaper for her to go there than a daycare center where she is a number.

I don't know if I should load the gear and go cutting tomorrow or not.

 

[mga]

write it off as another of life's lessons.

next time don't mix business with friends.

if you want to help out with something, that's different, but, either do it for free, or write up a contract as you would for anyone.

 

[CWME]

Would you have done the work "because he was a friend and his contractor screwed him" if they hadn't offered the reduced rate on daycare?

If so - accept their changed circumstance and pay the new rate.

If not - explain that you did the work in exchange for a reduced rate and if you must pay the full rate then you will have to bill them for some of the work done.

In either case, if you can afford the new rate and the friendship is worth keeping maybe just eat the cost but be more wary of doing future deals with him.

The house I would have done because he was a friend, absolutely no questions asked.

The daycare was a trade in labor. It was a verbal agreement from the start.

 

[CWME]

Is it coming from his wife maybe and not really him?

No, his wife called crying. She is really upset about my reaction to this mess. This is his deal all the way.

 

[CWME]

Thanks for the help everyone. I was starting to feel like I was the jack@$$ in the situation.

I am going to cut the wood but he can split it on his own. He had 3.5 hours into my truck last week. Going to take me 4-5 to cut and haul out all his wood.

 

[Muffler Bearing]

:arg:
Simple question. Wood Stove/insert and Child Care Center?

Thanks for the help everyone. I was starting to feel like I was the jack@$$ in the situation.

I am going to cut the wood but he can split it on his own. He had 3.5 hours into my truck last week. Going to take me 4-5 to cut and haul out all his wood.

 

[cnice_37]

Quick question to help me grasp this situation better...

You said a "discount rate" for daycare and then a 34% increase. In terms of dollars and cents, what's the number? If they were charging you like $50 a week, then 34% is still an incredible deal. Now, if they were charging $250, then the increase is unacceptable - IMHO.

So what is it? And how much of a discount are you getting post-increase?

Sounds like you are a good dude, and I'm leaning towards a steeper increase to make you think this hard about it. In the case of the steep increase I'd really have to sit down with this friend and wife and let them feel your pain. Otherwise, like others have said - don't mix friends and business.

 

[banshee67]

Is it coming from his wife maybe and not really him?

seems to be the case many times in my experience!

vagina always beats penis

 

[sawkiller]

As said earlier how good of a friend is he? Imagine yourself without this friend before you make any decisions! Sleep on it till you know you have made the right decision.
I have always loaned money and the likes to real friends and after loaning I always told them it was a gift so they did not have a debt over their head! Hard times have hit my home with currently being unemployed and while we are not starving some of those friends realize times are tight and have re-gifted me in my time of need.

 

[Austin1]

Just let it roll buy life is full of that stuff

 

[discounthunter]

some people value their time more than others. some do it and know it ,some do it unintentionally. does the raise in daycare make them more expensive than other places? if so say do to short funds your going to use someone else. if they are still cheaper ,maybe they are too proud to just outright ask for money. next time he asks for a favor,dont immediately jump on it,tell him you are backed up with a paying customer.

just some thoughts. the ultimate discission is yours alone.

 

[woodhounder]

find another daycare