What would you do?

[Marc]

Sounds like you got it resolved... but... I don't know; my friendships are a lot different than yours.

If I get help from one of my friends that has more expertise and experience doing something... we wouldn't trade anything. He'd come help me... key word help. We'd do it together, and I'd try to learn. If it was such skilled work of the nature I couldn't help, I'd still be there to chat, bring food, drink... hand off tools, carry materials, whatever. My friendships are about doing things together, and I guess the people I'm friends with would never see it as trading favors, but we also go out of our ways to help each other no matter what. If a circle of friends don't all share that mentality first and foremost, it wouldn't be one I'd be a part of.

 

[MotorSeven]

Sounds like you got it resolved... but... I don't know; my friendships are a lot different than yours.

If I get help from one of my friends that has more expertise and experience doing something... we wouldn't trade anything. He'd come help me... key word help. We'd do it together, and I'd try to learn. If it was such skilled work of the nature I couldn't help, I'd still be there to chat, bring food, drink... hand off tools, carry materials, whatever. My friendships are about doing things together, and I guess the people I'm friends with would never see it as trading favors, but we also go out of our ways to help each other no matter what. If a circle of friends don't all share that mentality first and foremost, it wouldn't be one I'd be a part of.

That's exactly how I feel and how it goes in my circle. If I do something for a bud, and it comes back sometime in the future, fine...if not, it's also fine, because I didn't do it expecting anything.

RD

 

[CWME]

I can't thank all of you enough for the help you have been through this.

My wife and I have stepped back from the "friendship" and took a hard look at things.

It was no longer friends helping friends to survive in a tough world. We were the one's calling to get together. We were the ones cooking dinner for them. We were the ones "nagging" for help with car repairs. It took me three months to get him to help me with my brakes by the way.
We were the ones "making" the friendship work.

This has been a serious eye opener for us. While we would like to think that they will miss our friendship I really am doubting it. They got their house and buisness up and running. They don't really need me anymore. That was my initial feeling when this all went down and that is where I have ended it.

As for prices on my work. Cherry kitchen with granite tops would normally price out to 16-17 thousand depending on the moulding work requested. Daycare kitchen was not a lot of cabinets but all specialy sized requiring a lot of extra work and fitting. This one would top out around 8k. The water line I helped install was quoted out by an excavating compay at 15k. Deck 4-5k. Floors 5k quote by flooring company, I bought the nailer...
Bathroom vanities with granite tops 5k. Electrical hookups for daycare, not a licenced electrician but guessing 2-3k.

All this work was done after hours and on weekends. 4 months of my life I spent every spare minute working for him, no exageration. I estimate my out of pocket dollars spent for wearables, heat, electricity etc in my shop to be about 3k.

So I earned the discount that we got multiple times over.

 

[cedarman]

My BIL grandfather (older farmer) once told us "if you go off to war for a yr, and you have a man stay at the farm, keep the place going, not try to bang your old lady, or steal the cash out of your sock drawer, you got a friend"


the older I get the more I realize that my wife is just about the only one i can truly count on. The rest just call when they want something.

I used to get upset about it alot when I was younger. I thought everybody was my friend. boy was i sadly mistaken..

 

[cedarman]

I can't thank all of you enough for the help you have been through this.

My wife and I have stepped back from the "friendship" and took a hard look at things.

It was no longer friends helping friends to survive in a tough world. We were the one's calling to get together. We were the ones cooking dinner for them. We were the ones "nagging" for help with car repairs. It took me three months to get him to help me with my brakes by the way.
We were the ones "making" the friendship work.

This has been a serious eye opener for us. While we would like to think that they will miss our friendship I really am doubting it. They got their house and buisness up and running. They don't really need me anymore. That was my initial feeling when this all went down and that is where I have ended it.

As for prices on my work. Cherry kitchen with granite tops would normally price out to 16-17 thousand depending on the moulding work requested. Daycare kitchen was not a lot of cabinets but all specialy sized requiring a lot of extra work and fitting. This one would top out around 8k. The water line I helped install was quoted out by an excavating compay at 15k. Deck 4-5k. Floors 5k quote by flooring company, I bought the nailer...
Bathroom vanities with granite tops 5k. Electrical hookups for daycare, not a licenced electrician but guessing 2-3k.

All this work was done after hours and on weekends. 4 months of my life I spent every spare minute working for him, no exageration. I estimate my out of pocket dollars spent for wearables, heat, electricity etc in my shop to be about 3k.

So I earned the discount that we got multiple times over.

join the club. ive had friends that would NEVER call unless i called. took me a while to let go and a while to getg over it. there comes a time in your life where in order to be fair to all you gotta be fair to yourself

 

[banshee67]

So I earned the discount that we got multiple times over.

keep in mind, its not a discount if you have to work for it!

 

[WoodchuckPaddy]

From the picture you paint, they should be watching your kid for free until he/she drives...and then buy the car and insure it too.

 

[Tootall521]

you need to go and talk to him. Take your wife and tell him to have his wife available, if nothing else for a calming influence , and discuss the problem. The wife's if they are friends will also help for witness, and remembering what was said. If you guys are that good of friends it will be worth the time and trouble

 

[CWME]

From the picture you paint, they should be watching your kid for free until he/she drives...and then buy the car and insure it too.

 

[cedarman]

Your one hell of a carpenter!!!

Your friends should be watching your young'n for FREE. no questions asked

The time, and detail you put in that project would have cost them BIGTIME!!!!!!

I wish you lived closer, Id barter w/ you anytime

nice work

 

[beerman6]

What would I do?

Do you own a taser?

 

[John R]

I've got so called friends like that, one in particular I thought was my best friend, we used to at least talk everyday,
One day I realized that when we did talk I was the one calling every time.
I stop calling him over a year ago, and haven't heard from him sense.

Guess I was the only one that thought we were friends.
I don't miss him either.

For a friendship to work, it needs to be a two way street.