You Know you are a Hack when...

[Slvrmple72]

I am starting a "You Know you are a Hack thread..."
Guidelines/Rules
1. No specific mentioning of names, be fair, maybe they dont know the symptoms of hackism.
2. be concise, "poor quality work" is not concise. "leaving stubs, or making flush cuts" is.
3. Pictures are a great visual aid feel free to use them so long as they are not incriminating.
4. Please not another Spikes/Gaffs/Spurs vs. Non- Thread
5. Feel free to draw from previous personal experience- find your inner hack- he still lurks in there, somewhere, remember the time when you...
6. Present the info in a constructive/instructional manner... this is your chance to vent but dont "burn" anyone when you "let off steam".

Okay here goes... You know you are a hack when you cut the limb from the top without making an undercut and rip a few feet of bark off the trunk of the tree. " Oops!, sorry 'bout that. Can I interest you in a removal for this tree know that it is damaged?":hmm3grin2orange:

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

I think it is not a few feet of bark, but if there are small tears on most of your cuts. Those tears are past the branch protection zone and into the trunk/stem whatnot.

You know your a hack; if you never work the tips of a the tree

 

[lxt]

we were doing a line clearance trim across from a jail in a small town the sherriffs were doing a prisoner escort right at lunch time, we were all shut down and doing the prelunch BS, when this prisoner looks at the tree`s just trimmed & says to the one sherriff; "you arrested me!! look at what they did to those trees!!"

when a criminal says that, I imagine that constitutes a hack job!! in our defense all the cuts were proper & in accordance with utility specs!!


I still chuckle about that to this day(not the trees!! but who & how it was said)

LXT.........

 

[chucknduck]

you know you're a hack when

PICKUP TRUCK HACKS:


-you park your pickup truck near the tree, then put the ladder in the back of the truck and lean it against the tree
-use your 1/2 ton pickup to pull down a 10 ton elm with a rope from K-mart
-load your 1/2 ton pickup with 2 tons of elm trunk till the wheels bottom out
-take a bunch of 2 by 4's out of the bed of your pickup and make a "Ladder" up the tree trunk
- tie your rope to limbs that need to be removed, then tie it to your pickup and gas it
this is what iv'e seen from some of the competition in the area.LOL

 

[TDunk]

PICKUP TRUCK HACKS:


-you park your pickup truck near the tree, then put the ladder in the back of the truck and lean it against the tree
-use your 1/2 ton pickup to pull down a 10 ton elm with a rope from K-mart
-load your 1/2 ton pickup with 2 tons of elm trunk till the wheels bottom out
-take a bunch of 2 by 4's out of the bed of your pickup and make a "Ladder" up the tree trunk
- tie your rope to limbs that need to be removed, then tie it to your pickup and gas it
this is what iv'e seen from some of the competition in the area.LOL

:hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange:

 

[wood4heat]

Your go to tools are WD40 and duct tape. :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange:

 

[wood4heat]

Ok I'm no arboralogist or anything but who hasn't done this.

Oil change procedure for hacks:

step one, drain oil
step two, remove filter
step three, replace oil filter
step four, wipe oil from filter off hands
step five, add oil to engine
step six, call buddy for more oil because you never replaced the drain plug and the oil for your only vehicle is now overflowing your drain pan all over the driveway.

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

Oil change procedure for hacks:

step one, drain oil
1.5 have a beer
step two, remove filter
2.5 have a beer
step three, replace oil filter
3.5 have a beer
step four, wipe oil from filter off hands
4.5 have a beer
step five, add oil to engine
5.5 have a beer
step six, run for beer because it was not a full six pack
step seven, call a buddy because you forgot to put in.....

I've heard this before, and I've been the buddy who got the call! I think he was still a bit drunk from the night before. Dumb Jarhead!

Oh, I had to have an MP use a fire extiguisher because the old T-Bird I bought a few weeks earlier from a buddy heading overseas needed head gaslets and I put it off and put it off....

 

[TDunk]

Oil change procedure for hacks:

step one, drain oil
1.5 have a beer
step two, remove filter
2.5 have a beer
step three, replace oil filter
3.5 have a beer
step four, wipe oil from filter off hands
4.5 have a beer
step five, add oil to engine
5.5 have a beer
step six, run for beer because it was not a full six pack
step seven, call a buddy because you forgot to put in.....

I've heard this before, and I've been the buddy who got the call! I think he was still a bit drunk from the night before. Dumb Jarhead!

Oh, I had to have an MP use a fire extiguisher because the old T-Bird I bought a few weeks earlier from a buddy heading overseas needed head gaslets and I put it off and put it off....

Um john, does that meen i can't drink and work on cars anymore??? i was getting pretty good at it too.:deadhorse:

 

[Job Corps Tree]

you know you are a Hack when

I had worked at a Nursery in IL . They had a river runner change the Oil on a Field truck a old Diamond Reo and filled the motor up to the Valve Covers. the Kid could not see Clean Oil on the Dip Stick. That motor would not turn over tell we took out 5 Gal. of extry oil.

 

[beowulf343]

Your go to tools are WD40 and duct tape. :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange:

Hey now! WD40 and duct tape aren't just for hacks anymore! You never know when they might be needed on the jobsite.

For example, there is nothing wrong with using duct tape to fix a cracked rake handle so you can finish the day. Hackism is when that handle stays taped for the next several months instead of being replaced.

My favorite hacks though-the residential guys who think they are bad-assed fallers. Then watching them drop a stem and it ends up falling opposite their notch.

 

[wood4heat]

Hey now! WD40 and duct tape aren't just for hacks anymore! You never know when they might be needed on the jobsite.

For example, there is nothing wrong with using duct tape to fix a cracked rake handle so you can finish the day. Hackism is when that handle stays taped for the next several months instead of being replaced.

.

It was a joke, check my sig. :hmm3grin2orange:

 

[beowulf343]

Lol-sorry man, didn't even see your sig.

 

[Jon Denver]

1 Pulling a tree over with your sisters 1980 buick regal which was a wedding present for her when she got married to your brother.

2 Showing up to the job site with no upper teeth from to much meth.

3 Then showing up to the job site with no lower teeth from to much kodiak

4 Watching Dr. Fill every day cuz yer such a hack you dont get any work no more.

:hmm3grin2orange:

 

[wood4heat]

Lol-sorry man, didn't even see your sig.

Aint no thing!!

How about this, A "mechanic" brings me an alternator belt and tells me it's too short. five minutes later he returns with the fan belt and tells me it's too long. At this time he provides the old belts for comparison. Oddly the alternator belt was as short as the fan belt was long....so took the exact belts out to him and ask him to "try these". He didn't bring them back so I guess they worked that time. :biggrinbounce2: True story.

 

[reachtreeservi]

You know you are talking to a hack when you mention the Gibbs adjuster on HIS wirecore he's wearing at the time and he doesn't know what a Gibbs is... true story!

Then you look and he has his gaff pads on backwards....

You know you are talking to a hack when he starts limbing midway up the tree
and hangs every branch up on a branch beneath him. And keeps doing it !

You know you are talking to a hack when you ask about using a pulley to lower loads with and he tell you " all that technology isn't useful or needed for tree work." He still uses wraps for everthing.

You know you are talking to a hack when he spikes all his pruning jobs and flush cuts everything and he's still covered up with work.... because he works so cheap.

I knew I was talking to a hack because I stopped to watch a job today in my neighborhood and talked to the hack who was doing all this stuff. :chainsawguy:

 

[(WLL)]

you know your a hack when

if you go out one day and buy yourself a few tools, and call yourself a climber. you are a hack!! if the tree looked better before ya pruned it you are a hack. if ya think a gut-thin and stripped out tree prune is ok and looks good ,than you r a hack. if ya been doing removals for 10+yrs and they look like **** comming down you r a hack. if you think you know it all and are ignorant to learning from others than you r a dumb hack.just because you can climb good does not mean you are a good climber!!!! be safe ,be carful ,use your brain ,and dont be a hack....

 

[ropensaddle]

1 When your big saw is a poulan wildthing
2When you think lateral trimming means a clearcut
3Get to the job open your door out pops four empty beer cans!
4Land a tree on the house and tell the customer they needed a new
roof anyway!
5Your idea of collar cut is as close to the bark as can cut!
6You charge one third of everyone else's bids.

 

[Canyonbc]

1 When your big saw is a poulan wildthing
2When you think lateral trimming means a clearcut
3Get to the job open your door out pops four empty beer cans!
4Land a tree on the house and tell the customer they needed a new
roof anyway!
5Your idea of collar cut is as close to the bark as can cut!
6You charge one third of everyone else's bids.

Second all of them

but especially..

# 1,2,3,4,5,6.

 

[treeseer]

You know your a hack; if you never work the tips of a the tree

O man that is cold but in this day and age with new climbing gear and methods and pole tools, it is very true. You raised the bar pretty high for this site, but that's where it belongs, I agree.