How little some know about chainsaws.

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When I first started cutting pulp wood back in the day I thought my saw would cut that soft pine faster if I filed the rakers way down.My saw stopped as soon as it hit the wood.I also heard a story about a guy that brought his saw back to the dealer because the chain would not move and the engine would not rev.He had a kickback and the dealer pushed the handle back for no charge.

I actually did that myself, took a saw in for fixing with chain brake on. Counter guy just reached up and snapped it back said " there ya go"

Embarrassed i was
 
Relative of mine owns a Stihl dealership. Told a story about a guy who brought back a saw that had just been serviced by him the day before. Guy was really ticked off that the saw would not run. He was yelling and demanding the saw be fixed correctly! So my cousin picks up the saw, turns it sideways, removes the gas cap, and takes a sniff.....then he turns the saw over and dumps out the fuel on the floor of his shop. Next, he grabs a book of matches, strikes one, and drops it in the fuel. Match goes out....no fire. The saw owner yelled and jumped back as the match fell. Then my cousin looked at him and said, "Sir....Stihl does not....and never has.....built a chainsaw that runs on diesel fuel!!!!" The guy picked up his saw, face as red as a beet, and walked out the door!
 
My boss and his wife are pilots he owns a chainsaw and likes cutting dirt I sharpen it for him and tell him dirt is bad lol
At times he gets me to help him work on his Piper and most of the time when he's trying to explain something to me on how this or that works on an aircraft I just look at him like a deer in headlights...
 
My boss and his wife are pilots he owns a chainsaw and likes cutting dirt I sharpen it for him and tell him dirt is bad lol
At times he gets me to help him work on his Piper and most of the time when he's trying to explain something to me on how this or that works on an aircraft I just look at him like a deer in headlights...

It's funny how common that seems to be. We get doctors, professors, really high-earning, well educated people in all the time that can't seem to figure out why a chain that's blunter than a brick wall won't cut right. I guess we get our fair share of idjits too with the same problems. It just goes to prove what the Bandit said: "When you say something, it depends on what part of the country you're standing in as to just how dumb you are."
 
Y’all have probably seen one of these before, but a new one for me just rolled through my F-book feed. Maybe the people who can’t really own/operate a chainsaw very well ... are a step ahead of the people who think they can ...

Now that's hilarious.
 
I don’t have video or pictures to illustrate my incompetence. Any way, story ahead, I had several trees near power lines that had been barely cleared in the OHP right of way by the electric company. I had purchased a pole saw to help keep the limbs out of the power line right of way. I was trying to trim a branch on a cotton wood tree and I couldn’t reach it with the pole extended all the way. I went and retrieved a 8 foot ladder and climbed up with the pole saw running. My better and most of the times smarter half came out and said “you think that’s a good idea?” Me “Oh hell honey I got this!” She said “wait”. So I did for a minute and she asked me if I knew what the hell I was doing. I said I got this “dear.”
I cut the branch and it swung down into the ladder I was on in slow motion. I dropped the pole saw and stepped off the ladder “exit stage left” and was watched out for by God that day. Wife was well within her right to freak out on me. I was not hurt, I rolled very well away from the ladder and pole saw( again grace of God that day). After I gathered myself and the wife gave me some well deserved “I f$&king told you so!” I retrieved the ladder and saw, the pole saw wouldn’t start until I pulled the plug and cleared the cylinder. I have not been allowed on a ladder to do anything(changing a lightbulb included) without a reminder from the wife to “watch it!” I have never run a saw anywhere near a ladder let alone on even one step of it.
 
You know I bought a few used saws. Some say it’s no compression. I find the compression release button pushed it, then thebsaw is locked up. I try to remove the clutch cover and the brake is on. Need I say more, go figure I buy a non running parts saw only to find out a few $$ can fix it.
 
My dad felled in Alaska, living in a tent, clearing a cut for a pipeline for 3 years in the 70s, and I learned from him. I think by 12 I was bucking firewood with his supervision, so at 16 when I took a side job for a family friend and I asked to use his saw, he said no problem. It was an 034 super he had bought new, and kept in good shape. He had taught me all I knew about running the saw, but sometimes things that are obvious to professionals and long-time users are totally missed by the young and the un-initiated.

The job that I wanted the saw for was trimming an overgrown hedge. The hedge had been allowed to grow over 12 feet, and they wanted it cut back to about 5 feet. There were some main stems in there that were over 2 inches, but knowing what I know now, I don't think I would take a saw to anything where I couldn't see what the tip of the bar was doing. I had been trying to get this hedge trimmed with hand tools, but had enough, so with his permission I took the saw. He was out of state taking care of his mom, and he told me take the saw, but put a sharp chain on it (he always had 3 or 4 chains hanging in the garage ready to go). I put the chain on, and off I went.

Got to the job, started cutting the hedge. The saw didn't cut worth a damn. I had probably 80 feet of hedge to cut, and after running the saw for 2 hours I was about 6 feet in. Called up my dad, wondering if there was something wrong with the saw, he said it must be my technique, but to keep at it. I think it took me 3 days to cut that hedge with that saw. When my dad got back, we sat down and had a look at the saw. He laughed, and let me know that the saw will cut much better with cutters pointed forward :dumb: Boy did I feel dumb. I didn't even notice how much heat I was putting into the chain, the back of the cutters were black. But through perseverance, and not wanting to look like I didn't know what I was doing at 16, I wore that hedge away with the backside of the cutters. My dad had always swapped chains in the past, and it never even occurred to me when I was putting the chain on that it could go on two different ways.
 
That's a good story, Satch. I'm betting everyone has one like it. My personal dumb@$$ story recurs rarely: trying to pull start something with it in the O position or with the fuel line switched up and spending WAAY too long figuring it out.
Seen many customers come back complain that Stihl ain't worth a damn, come to find out they are 99% of the time doing one of two things: chain on backwards or a chain as dull as dishwater. Sometimes both, in fact, miraculously
 
I think the worst thing I've done is try to start the saw without gas in it...

But some of the stories here remind me of the time I spent 2 hours trying to get a welder to weld.... Till I noticed that I hadn't attached the ground clamp to the work....
 
I think the worst thing I've done is try to start the saw without gas in it...

But some of the stories here remind me of the time I spent 2 hours trying to get a welder to weld.... Till I noticed that I hadn't attached the ground clamp to the work....

I did that before hooking up a guy's trailer tail lights. Didn't realize that the wires had to be grounded to the trailer frame for about 10 minutes. We all had a good laugh about it, though
 
the time I spent 2 hours trying to get a welder to weld.... Till I noticed that I hadn't attached the ground clamp to the work....

The most embarrassing thing about this...is that I have done it more than once.....and less than an hour apart. First time, took me 15 minutes to get the welder tuned back in again after I had changed all the settings trying to get it to weld. I had adjusted voltage, cleaned the rollers, checked all welder internal connections, changed tips...you name it...I changed it.... before I noticed the ground clamp still laying on the floor beside the work-piece. :cry: :angry:
 
My grandfather a few years ago was cutting out trails when his trusty 029 wouldn’t start after a fill up. Normally he would take care of the fix himself, but at his age it’s easier to drop it off at a friends shop. When he went to pick it up a few days later, he asked the owners son what was wrong with it. The kid replied “dad said you put the gas in the bar oil and the bar oil in the gas tank”

My Granddad giggles every time he tells that story. I guess I your allowed an screwup at damn near 90.
 
The most embarrassing thing about this...is that I have done it more than once.....and less than an hour apart. First time, took me 15 minutes to get the welder tuned back in again after I had changed all the settings trying to get it to weld. I had adjusted voltage, cleaned the rollers, checked all welder internal connections, changed tips...you name it...I changed it.... before I noticed the ground clamp still laying on the floor beside the work-piece. :cry: :angry:
I still do that with a plasma cutter a lot. You know, fire her up, she won't cut, take the torch apart to check it, check all the settings, step back from the cutter and hear a crunch, and look down to find out your standing on the ground clamp...

I've repeatedly asked ESAB on facebook for a welder and plasma cutter that doesn't need a ground clamp... Or a cordless wirefeed welder...
 

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