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Firewood Pet Peeves.You know you want to vent...
- Thread starter avalancher
- Start date
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Mr. Firewood
ArboristSite Operative
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2001
- Messages
- 415
- Reaction score
- 39
the top 7 phrases that chap my ass concerning firewood
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA:greenchainsaw:
- What? you dont stack it for free?
- Can I give you a post dated check?
- I need it dumpped in 3 different spots cause me and my neighbors decided to split a cord
- I don't know why you charge so much, firewood is all profit!
- NOPE, theres no well/septic tank/leach field/cistern in that area
- I doubt you will tear up the grass, go ahead and back it into the backyard
- ya think if I give your buddy riding with ya $10 he will stack this cord of wood around back?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA:greenchainsaw:
cmetalbend
ArboristSite Operative
As per today, cutting a dog chain left in a tree for god knows how long. I had just sharpen the chain. :bang:
MATTYB11
ArboristSite Operative
I hate that but they mean well. It's funny if I do all the cutting everything is very close to the same length and stacks well. When others help cut the sizes are all over the place (usually the big rounds too short and the skinny wood too long) and then I'm the overly picky crazy one for not just hacking it all up willy-nilly.
cmetalbend
ArboristSite Operative
:agree2:
avalancher
Arboristsite Raconteur
Here is another one for you. Some clown called me last night at 10:30.ON A SUNDAY NIGHT.
I dont know about you, but calling that late on a Sunday night?Just for firewood?I try and remember to turn off my cell phone when I go to bed, but last night left it in my pants pocket over the chair by the bed. I had gone to bed around 9, I get up at 4:30.
Man was I ticked, but tried to sound reasonable. He even asked if it was to late to deliver that same night!Seems he ran out of wood and wanted me to run it on over there.
I dont know about you, but calling that late on a Sunday night?Just for firewood?I try and remember to turn off my cell phone when I go to bed, but last night left it in my pants pocket over the chair by the bed. I had gone to bed around 9, I get up at 4:30.
Man was I ticked, but tried to sound reasonable. He even asked if it was to late to deliver that same night!Seems he ran out of wood and wanted me to run it on over there.
You know what really burns my ass?
A fire about 3 feet high...
Sorry, couldn't resist...
strongback
ArboristSite Operative
I personally get a kick out of the folks who think they've got it over you because your the one doing the delivering. I don't understand their logic though...You just gave me $200-$400 dollars and I'm the sucker? HA!
Especially when I could put a couple of their houses inside of mine and build a few more on my front lawn. HAHA!
Not to mention how much I love making the little soft men look like little soft men in the presence of their women. HAHAHA!
Then there is the handshake that makes him question his own manhood. You know what I mean; He does his best to give you a "firm" handshake but even if his dainty little fingers can make it all the way around your palm, his soft effeminate hands don't have the were withal to dimple the meat between your thumb and index finger. These testosterone deficient metrosexuals can't seem to let go fast enough to save themselves the psychic emasculation that comes from having their baby soft flesh violated by the callous and scar tissue of a mans hand. HAHAHAHA!
Or maybe I've just got an over-inflated ego that imagines it all and I really am just a poor schlub servicing my betters.
Especially when I could put a couple of their houses inside of mine and build a few more on my front lawn. HAHA!
Not to mention how much I love making the little soft men look like little soft men in the presence of their women. HAHAHA!
Then there is the handshake that makes him question his own manhood. You know what I mean; He does his best to give you a "firm" handshake but even if his dainty little fingers can make it all the way around your palm, his soft effeminate hands don't have the were withal to dimple the meat between your thumb and index finger. These testosterone deficient metrosexuals can't seem to let go fast enough to save themselves the psychic emasculation that comes from having their baby soft flesh violated by the callous and scar tissue of a mans hand. HAHAHAHA!
Or maybe I've just got an over-inflated ego that imagines it all and I really am just a poor schlub servicing my betters.
BaldSawRunner
ArboristSite Operative
LOL! That reminds me of I guy I had to work with earlier this year where I am employed at. I build boat decks, and the frame is aluminum and some of it has sharp corners. Of course, aluminum turns your hands black, so this guy was constantly running to the restroom to wash his hands. One day, he asked my how I didn't get blisters on my hands.
I said,"Well, for one thing, leave the blisters alone and eventually, your hands will callous up and no more blisters. Another thing that may help is... stop scrubbing your hands ever 15 minutes. I have had callouses on my hands ever since I was 9, when my Dad took me to the woods to help cut and split wood."
All he said was"Well, I figured you had callouses.":hmm3grin2orange:
monkeyboi
ArboristSite Lurker
I repair appliances for a living. Had one 40-ish lady once (not at all bad looking) that was just downing her husband the whole time I was there. "Oh, he could never fix this", "Oh he wouldn't know where to start", "He's no good at fixing things", etc. After awhile, I had to ask what her husband did, she told me he was a airplane pilot. I told her that I wouldn't be able to do that.
Occasionally people look down at me as I'm there fixing things, acting like they are better than me, but they are few and far enough between.
logbutcher
Addicted to ArboristSite
Nooooooooooooooooooo, say it isn't so ? . Dr. LB prescribes Viagra for Mr. SB .
mranum
ArboristSite Operative
My biggest pet peeve is when people find out what I do for a living and they act like its not a REAL job. I manage a Christmas Tree farm, no work there at all. None, zip, nadda. I make a decent living, could always be better but had a heck of a lot worse, and average 12 weeks off a year with full salary and heck the boss even sent the Mrs and I to Vegas for a week completely on him last year.
Hmmmm..... maybe I do need to find a REAL job. NOT! Besides, the way the country is headed economy wise this may be a very good place to be right now.
BTW, shipments start tomorrow and if your in central Wisconsin, central Illinois, Dubuque/Quad cities area, and some areas of Oklahoma, Tennesee, Kentucky, and Texas you might just get a tree from our farm.
Hmmmm..... maybe I do need to find a REAL job. NOT! Besides, the way the country is headed economy wise this may be a very good place to be right now.
BTW, shipments start tomorrow and if your in central Wisconsin, central Illinois, Dubuque/Quad cities area, and some areas of Oklahoma, Tennesee, Kentucky, and Texas you might just get a tree from our farm.
Mr. Firewood
ArboristSite Operative
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2001
- Messages
- 415
- Reaction score
- 39
I am looking for trees right now, send me some contact information
cycledude232
ArboristSite Member
its true, the handshake says it all, im a little guy, Barly 5 foot 6, but i have a handshake of a viking. people look at me, and think, oh he's just a kid working for his uncle because he can't get a job any where else. then they shake my hand and have respect almost instantly. then they get me talking and find out that after i work 40 hours a week for him, i work 40 hours a week for myself doing the same thing, except i log the wood myself. not bad for 19?
MATTYB11
ArboristSite Operative
Good for you. I learned a few years back that if you're young and doing well for your self that a lot of people don't give due credit for your hard work. They think it's some kind of magic trick or someone is giving you money or you must be selling drugs.
strongback
ArboristSite Operative
With a priapismic ego I don't need to exacerbate the situation by adding our little blue friend to the cocktail.
strongback
ArboristSite Operative
Way to go. 80 Hrs of wood a week. Don't the commercials recommend that you contact your phsycian after 4hrs?
J/K It's good that you're learning how to hustle early. Hopefully, you'll be smarter than I was when I was 19 and stash a healthy portion of that cash so that you're not worn out and broke at 45. One or the other is okay but both...?Major Wood
ArboristSite Lurker
First post and believe me I'm not a complainer but nothing ticks me off more in the firewood business than people wanting free wood. I mean if somebody is really down and it is their primary source of heat, hey, I'll help a guy out. But the nimrods that think it takes no time or effort to do this frost my arse. I respond to a lot of want ads requesting free wood by telling them to respond to the offers of free wood, then go buy a chainsaw, a log splitter, a trailer, gas cans, bar oil, extra chains, gloves, a few good nylon towing ropes, a 4x4 and have at it my friend. How many cords of wood do you think you can cut before you get your investment back? Or you can pay me a couple of hundred to deliver it. 
cmetalbend
ArboristSite Operative
First post and believe me I'm not a complainer but nothing ticks me off more in the firewood business than people wanting free wood. I mean if somebody is really down and it is their primary source of heat, hey, I'll help a guy out. But the nimrods that think it takes no time or effort to do this frost my arse. I respond to a lot of want ads requesting free wood by telling them to respond to the offers of free wood, then go buy a chainsaw, a log splitter, a trailer, gas cans, bar oil, extra chains, gloves, a few good nylon towing ropes, a 4x4 and have at it my friend. How many cords of wood do you think you can cut before you get your investment back? Or you can pay me a couple of hundred to deliver it.
Welcome to the party, oh I mean Site.:hmm3grin2orange:
